Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
