Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
