you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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