Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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