just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We're too hungover to prance.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
