I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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