Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
