He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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