i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
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My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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