He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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