Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
