Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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