you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So squirting runs in the family.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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