never play flip cup with pint glasses
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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