What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
