brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
