Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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