So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
