Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
