does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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