so let's talk penis.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
