oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
