I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
