is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
