Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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