i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
