She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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