Just fell off a train. Bad.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
