My brain says no but my pants say off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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