i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
