i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize