you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
