I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
