My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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