my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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