glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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