i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Help. Why am I so naked?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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