He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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