I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize