You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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