I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
