you would pick up someone in the library
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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