so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
