Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
