I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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