I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
