I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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