Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
