i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish I only lived at night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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