Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
