maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
