I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
