Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize