your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
