mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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