Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
