Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
