I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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