I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
