I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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