I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
