Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
