There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So many bounce houses so little time
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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