I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
