so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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